Life is Funny
The Immigrants' Poem
Submitted by Rant Man on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 2:50pm.
I cross ocean, poor and broke.
Take bus, see employment folk
Nice man treat me good in there.
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, 'You come no more, we send cash right to your door.
Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy! NHS - it keep you healthy!
By and by, I get plenty money.
Thanks to you, you British dummy!
Write to friends in motherland.
Tell them 'come fast as you can.
They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
And buy big house with welfare bucks!
They come here, we live together.
More welfare cheques, it gets better!
Fourteen families, they moving in,
But neighbour's patience wearing thin.
Finally, British guy moves away.
Now I buy his house, then I say,
'Find more immigrants for house to rent.'
And in the yard I put a tent
Everything is very good,
And soon we own the neighbourhood.
We have hobby, it's called breeding. Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Funny Spam
Submitted by Rant Man on Mon, 09/05/2011 - 7:51am.I found this spam email in my email this morning... funny!!! I now have the Chancellor's email address...
HM-Treasury is compensating you with the sum of £550,000.00 pounds. Contact chancellor Osborne for more information via his email address:
Do send him your FULL NAMES / COUNTRY / SEX / SERIAL #:768369.Pls send accurate details to him Asap for claim.
Signed,Jon Thompson,
Finance Director,HM Treasury.
The Hotel Bill
Submitted by Rant Man on Thu, 07/07/2011 - 1:20pm.An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of Chicago 's most
expensive hotel.
When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a
nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an
overnight stop without even breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she
insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the
hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are
available for use."
'But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the
in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best
entertainers from New York , Los Angeles , and Las Vegas performing
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