Imagine....

You are at the airport and inadvertently leave your bag behind as you rush to get home.... a few minutes or so later you realize that you left your bag and return to find the airport being evacuated on a security alert.... oops - yes, it is your bag that caused the alert. Embarrassing for sure. But then you are asked to identify your bag and the vibrating content that triggered the alert. Red-faced you extract your sex toy vibrator to show to the security guards and police..... worse still, you are male!

LOL! No way you say? Actually, this happened at a Queensland airport in Australia in 2004. See the story here

Couldn't help smiling at an article on the BBC website today about a Dog that was summoned to appear in court in India. I mean, I know the phrase in the dog house but apparently this dog was in the court house.....

For decades, man has struggled seeking a cure for the common cold never knowing that that cure was simple - SEX. Yeppers - a Swiss scientist claims that sexual intercourse raises the number of phagocytes - which attack alien body invaders like the cold virus - immensely. A single orgasm can double the number of these little beasts in your blood stream apparently.

So what's it to be guys and gals? Cod liver oil and treacle or some sex? (or maybe both if you are that way inclined.....)

It's difficult to smoke these days. So many rules and regulations to stop people killing themselves slowly puffing on tobacco but this one got me. To support legislation banning the sale of cigs to under 20-year olds in Japan, an age detection tool is being developed for use on vending machines. It's sort of face recognition software but programed to determine your age from facial characteristics based on a sample of 100,000 people.

Apparently, the software will determine by looking at your face how old you are. If you LOOK older than 20-years, you will be allowed to purchase your smokes, if not, you will have to produce an ID card for scanning to prove your age.

I wonder if they programed this using smoker's faces? Smokers end to age a it more than non-smokers I guess.

When I get really busy - and I mean swamped - I tend to freeze. I sit and think of everything I need to do and I can't decide where to start. I literally freeze. The clock ticks by and nothing is done and the stress builds. I'm in this situation now having been away for a few days and now with a list as long as my leg (and yours) of things to do.... so what do I do? Waste time blogging about the fact I don't know where to start......

These days nothing is safe unless its tied down and even then it might not be safe from thieves. A popular item to steal these days is your bike and frankly, thee isn't much you can do to stop theft of a bike. You can chain it securely to a wall, remove the wheels, handle bars and so forth but if someone is gonna steal it then they will.

Recently, I parked my bike outside of a store while I was doing a spot of shopping. Now I am a big believer in security so I chained both wheels to the wall. There.... that should do it I thought as I disappeared into the store...

Well, obviously not enough security...

Here is my bike....

Nice!

I told my girlfriend the other day that I had 'woke up dead'. She laughed a lot and asked how is it possible to wake up dead? Good question and where does that expression come from I wondered? How many other nonsensical expressions are there in the English language? Add a few using the comments and let's see if we can generate a good list.

I came across a blog recently hosted at livejournal. I had actually never heard of livejournal but it seems to provide some pretty good facilities for bloggers wanting to do something of a personal blog. Life of Lemski is exactly that. It's a personal blog and makes interesting reading.

Some articles are personal rambles by the blogger that leaves you asking 'what the hell is this person talking about?' simply because they discuss the blogger's personal life, friends and situation. It's touching that those posts often refer to friends of the blogger by name - making it even more personal. You find yourself obtaining glimpses of someone else's life.. and that's a treat even if it isn't that clear what they are talking about - or as the blogger states - is rambling about.

But those posts are interspersed with poetry - some of it quite excellent, useful articles about topics such as website hosting,the Internet, travel articles and a whole lot more. The sheer variety comes as a surprise and something of a shock - we live in a society in which bloggers can address a variety of topics and do so with expertise, humor and PERSONALITY. That's what I enjoy about blogs and why this one is so engaging.

So why not stop by and see what you think? Life of Lemski.

Czech car manufacturer Skoda (pronounced shkoda) actually makes some pretty good cars probably helped by the fact that it is now owned by VW. But did you know that skoda in Czech means 'shame'?. My question is why would anyone call their car company a shame?

These days it seems that more and more folks shop online while building an online store for your business just gets easier and easier. One leading provider of shopping cart software is Ashop commerce who offer a complete range of services for anyone interested in building an online business.

If you want to get an idea of just how easy it is to build a store online visit their demonstration area. You can change the theme, add products - just about anything you want to do and its all hosted for you so you just need an internet connection. You don't need graphic design or HTML skills - just a few products to sell and an idea to do it over the internet.

Not only that but they have several options ranging from a set up for the small guy who just wants to sell a few products all the way to a top of the line, fully fledged online business - and its all very affordable with low cost monthly plans.

These days travel is part of the job. You simply have to do it from time-to-time. But I have grown to detest traveling. First, you have to leave the people you want to be with and second, you have to leave your comfort zone making the travel stressful. Today, I am due to head to London for several days on a business trip. Here is what I am facing...

Arrive at the airport 2 hours before flight time. Line up with hundreds of others on the flight and wait, wait and wait for Ryanair to show up an start processing passengers. They will open the areas I am not lined up for and everyone will rush forward suddenly like a herd of cows headed for milking. When finally checked in, I will go through security - what a joy - and then wait, wait and wait again until we board. Boarding will also resemble milking time for the cows as we all scramble to find a reasonable seat. Then, I will wait, wait and wait again until we finally land.

Regular readers will know that I live in the Czech Republic these days. Its a beautiful country and if you have never been here then what are you waiting for? If you want some more information on the country then I suggest you visit Discover the Czech republic for more information. The site is a source of information of the country that includes photographic 'walks' through parts of the Czech Republic like Brno and in the site's forum you'll find useful guides to staying there.

The site also features an extensive and growing photograph gallery of parts of the Czech Republic taken by the blog's writer and owner along with useful places to search for a hotel or book your trip.

A British man is suing bookmaker William Hill for 2 million Pounds after they let him bet again. A self-confessed gambler, apparently he closed his accounts at most bookmakers including William Hill on a self-exclusion basis. Two-months later, he was able to re-open an account in his own name and lose an unimaginable amount of money betting on horses. He is now suing on the basis that he shouldn't have been able to open the account......

My comment.... speechless.

A wheelchair user has been taken for a high-speed ride along a US highway after his handlebars became tangled up in the front grille of a lorry.

The back of Ben Carpenter's wheelchair was scooped up as he passed in front of a lorry leaving a petrol station.

The driver was completely unaware that he had a new passenger, kept in his wheelchair by a seatbelt.

Passing motorists told police, who found the man unhurt - but still attached to the front of the truck.

Police in the town of Paw Paw, Michigan, said Mr Carpenter had told them "it was quite a ride", but complained only that he had spilled his soda.

Rest of story at http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6732003.stm

A traditional pancake race has fallen flat after it was cancelled due to health and safety regulations.

Every year, children and choristers take part in the Shrove Tuesday race in Ripon, North Yorkshire.

The event was revived 10 years ago and is usually started by the ringing of Ripon Cathedral's ancient Pancake Bell.

But this year's event has been shelved, with organisers blaming the mountain of risk assessments that must be carried out before children can take part.

Bernard Bateman, one of the organisers, said they were told they would have to pay £250 to Harrogate Borough Council to close Kirkgate Road, where the race takes place.

They would also have to hold insurance risk assessments and pay to have medical staff on hand in case of any injuries or accidents.

A South African suspected thief who impaled his feet on a fence while running away from guards will appear in court once he can walk, police say.

Mthandani Nqetho pierced his feet on steel spikes as he was trying to jump the fence on Friday night in Durban.

He managed to free one of them, but was unable to release the other and had to hang on until morning when church goers saw him and called the rescue services.

Police say it will be about a week before he can face the magistrate.

Police public relations officer Michael Reed told the BBC that Mr Nqetho is under guard in hospital and has been charged with robbery.

Stuck on roofs

Captain Greg Bevan, who was part of the rescue team, said Mr Nqetho was in a bad way when he was found.

Old age creeps up on us all - some faster than others it would often seem - but eventually it gets us all. If you are young - say less than 30 - you are probably thinking - "why the hell do I care?" but your parents, grand parents and others might be reaching an age where, well, life gets difficult. Aging relatives can be a handful too. It's a topic that actually is difficult to be humorous about.

In some societies, older folks are venerated for their acquired knowledge and wisdom but most of us live in societies where the old folks get forgotten or shoved out to some home - out of sight and out of mind.... Thats not a future I want many thanks.

Recently, two couples who had babies at the same hospital on the same day, had a baby swap some 9-months after giving birth. It seems that the hospital made a mistake after their births and handed each couple the wrong baby. Now how did this come to light in the first place?

Well, one of the fathers grew increasingly suspicious that his child looked nothing like him and so, thinking the worst about his wife, ordered a DNA test. The results proved he wasn't the father and so he confronted his wife. She too then conducted a DNA test and discovered she wasn't the mother! It was at this point that their relationship was saved by the discovery that in fact their baby was alive and doing fine - but living with another couple.

I just finished reading an astonishing book called 'Is There Life after Death?' by Anthony Peake. Peake looks at the evidence from Quantum Physics, Medicine, Psychology, Gnostic history and more besides to support his astonishing theory that when we die we drop out of time (time being a human creation) and then relive our lives over and over and over and over again....

Aghhhh!

Its not so bad, like in Groundhog Day, you can change your life as you go through a re-run. But his theory has real legs even from a scientific point of view.

Next time I re-live my life I have to remember to invest in Google and eBay early - oh and oil stocks....

You can get the book from Amazon - its really amazing...

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, who left office last June, has taken up a part-job with a Wall Street bank on an estimated $1 million salary.

Blair will work with JP Morgan Chase, a firm with assets of $1.5 trillion and operations in more than 50 countries. He will advise the bank on global political and strategic issues, a company statement said.

"We operate our business all over the world, and Tony Blair will bring our leaders and clients a unique and invaluable global perspective that is especially critical in turbulent times like these," said Jamie Dimon, chairman and CEO of the company, in the statement.

Today my PC got a virus - a version of Smitfraud. How I hate all who perpetrate such fraud and have the audacity to load my PC with a virus/bug that directs me to their websites advertising their virus checkers. These people are the lowest of the low - total filth - and if I could find out who is responsible.....

So three hours and many adware/virus remover runs later, my PC still has a life of its own and someone owes me 3 hours of my time wasted trying to kill this little blood sucking surprise.

Am I mad - You bet I am.

Oh how far has the mighty greenback fallen. Today, a Dollar gets you 99 Canadian Cents, 51 British Pence, just 0.68 of a Euro and 1.11 Swiss Francs. But you know the fall of the Dollar isn't over - there is more yet to come as interest rates most likely continue to be adjusted downwards in the US. Yes, a Dollar now buys just one third of a US Gallon of gasoline.

There was a time when other nations coveted the US Dollar. Now they can't dump it in world currency markets fast enough in favor of the Euro or the UK Pound.

A quick sweep of CNN’s website confirms (as if that would be required) that 2008 is starting the same way as 2007 did and every year before that. Yes, I do hate the news but lets just summarize CNN’s version shall we? Here it is…..

• Source: Bhutto had vote-rig report
• Minister quits over sex video
• 36 die as funeral bombed
• Gunman kills U.S. diplomat in Sudan
• Blast rocks Sri Lankan capital

If you regularly read this blog (and I hope that you do), you'll know I live in the Czech Republic. Sometimes I yearn to watch a bit of TV in English and will occasionally rent a DVD movie or two so that I can. Well, last night I rented a movie called BABEL. Frankly it wasn't that good. Don't know if you have ever seen this movie but I felt quite cheated. You see, we set the movie for English language with Czech subtitles and what I didn't know until it was too late was that it is about 20 minutes into the movie until anyone speaks English.

Yes, soon we all head back to work for a new year. People will make all kinds of promises to themselves and the gyms will be full for a few weeks.

A woman stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife following an argument that began when she accused him of opening a Christmas present early, authorities said Friday.

Misty Johnson, 34, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and battery, a felony, and misdemeanor domestic battery.

Rest of story here:http://apnews.myway.com/article/20071222/D8TM8S7O0.html

I'm afraid that it is. And that means lots of silliness. I'm already sick to the back teeth of trying to walk through the city center as people in front of you suddenly stop for no reason and trying to get to the other side of the street is like threading a needle. If people drove the way they walk it really would be chaos. And of course shopping for anything is nigh on impossible.

I wonder what it was like to live in an era when the news arrived days or months late brought in by some guy on horse back? Pretty sweet I would think. Imagine living in a world where you are not bombarded by bad news. Heaven!

I browse the web quite a bit these days and never ceased to be amazed at people's creativity when it comes to developing on line business ideas. For example, I just came across the site www.trustsource.org. The business idea here is to list categories of products and have site visitors write reviews on those products that they have used. The overall effect is to create a set of pages that offer help and advice on buying a product along with all the details you could ever want to support your purchase decision.

I came across the site initially because it is currently reviewing and offering smoking cessation products and at some point in the future I have to quit smoking. I found 5-6 products listed there, each with a number of reviews and graded with a five-star system. Each product can be selected and then you are presented with a wide variety of information regarding the product and have the ability to order right off of the website.