For the first time ever I recently visited a solarium. I'm fair skinned and fair haired but in the last few years I tend to tan well on the face and arms making it appear that I am wearing a white T-shirt when on the beach. Add to that the fact I go lobster red and suffer agony, I thought getting a few minutes in a solarium might help me out this year.

What I hadn't counted on was that you sunbathe naked in a solarium right. You get a tan where the sun don't normally shine and since it don't normally shine there the skin is very very sensitive.... ouch!

And laying in that glowing tunnel that is the tanning bed makes me feel well claustrophobic. I have this horrible thought that they mis-program the thing and instead of 8 minutes they come running round when they smell me burning. Smoked rant man anyone?