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How does a Gynecologist wall paper his hall? - through the letterbox!


How does a Gynecologist respond when asked by his wife about his day? He had a hard day at the oriface!

Migraines!
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror,the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you. I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

New suit - £400
New shirt - £36
New underwear - £6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS!

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating
for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one
little thing bothering me... It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts,
and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was
near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate
because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check
the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered
to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married
and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and
couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and If
you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I
stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the
front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all
clapping!!!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are
very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car