HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on University of Arizona chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we
can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are

Common knowledge?

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following employee statistics:

29 have been accused of spouse abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

9 have been accused of writing bad cheques

17 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shop-lifting

21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year

Which organisation is this?

It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us inline.

What a bunch of to**er's we have running our country - it says it all. And just to top all that they probably have the best 'corporate' pension scheme in the country .

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom", he asked, "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

A blonde gets a job as a teacher.

She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun.

She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

'You ok?' she says.

'Yes.' he says.

'You can go and play with the other kids you know.'she says.

'It's best I stay here.'he says.'

'Why?' says the blonde.

The boy says: 'Because, I'm the friging goalie'

Here is a new blog that seems like it could be a good one. Now Fifty Something tracks the diary of a guy approaching 50.... Check it out!

At dinner one night, a son asks his dad, "What kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, thinks a second and answers, "There are actually three kinds son.
The first kind are like melons, round and firm.. when a woman is in her 20's.
The second kind are like pears, still nice, but it they hang a little bit.... when she's 30 to 40.

The last kind, when a woman gets to be 50, are like an onions.

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

His inquisitive daughter then turns to the mother and asks, "Well, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, smiles and quickly answers, 'Well dear, there are also three kinds."

The first kind is like an oak tree, mighty and hard... when he's in his 20's.

The second kind is like a birch tree, flexible but reliable... when he's in his 30's and 40's.

And the last kind, when he reaches 50, is just like a Christmas Tree.'

"A Christmas tree?"

Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?

The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay.

Now GET OUT and don't come back.

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

I guess everyone knows the Michelin Man???

He looks like this....

Well, I have discovered his wife... the Michelin Woman. Check her out...

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.

She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps..

He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit,

They passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.

Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.

He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.

He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.

He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.

She did... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.