HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on University of Arizona chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we
can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls
go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has
to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before
I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept
with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls
and is therefore, extinct........leaving only Heaven, there
by proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting.
'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.